Romance and flirting, liking someone and hoping that they like you, thinking about someone and wanting them to like you, talking with friends about them. Imagining what it might be like to be with someone. Trying to find out if they like you. Biting the bullet and asking someone out. Becoming involved and maybe getting a bit more serious. Dreaming, hoping and believing.
It can be like practicing and trying out what it might feel like. Its all a natural part of growing up and also part of taking the steps that will lead towards a first real relationship.
Reality can be a little different to the ideas we have in our heads.
Its natural to have strong emotions when you like someone or start dating. You can get anxious, feel sad or excited, get hyped up or be miserable or angry when things don't work out. It can be a bit of a roller coaster and not so easy to keep your footing when you are in the midst of some pretty unsettling moods.
Being rejected, for example, can feel like the end of the world.
How to handle rejection
Nearly everybody gets rejected at some point in their life, no matter how smart, gorgeous or popular they are. Some rejection, like attraction, doesn’t really make sense – it’s not about how likeable we are or how attractive, funny or adorable.
What to do when you ask and they say no…
If they say no nicely, smile and move on.
If the other person says no in a rude or mean way, they’re just a first-class arse and it’s lucky you found out now.
Keep your dignity. Try not to make a scene, throw yourself on the ground, burst into tears, abuse them, sneer or say something rude. You can do all those things alone in your bedroom later.
How to handle rejection: later
Don’t try to figure out why – it’s not because you are fat, ugly or stupid – it’s just because the other person can’t feel any “chemistry” or they have their own quirky reason. It means it wouldn’t have worked out, so move on.
Don’t wallow in self-pity, and make sure you’re not obsessing about them just because you can’t have them.
Hold out for someone who’ll really like you.
Get on with something else to take your mind off it.
Give it time: after a while you’ll notice things that will make you glad you didn’t go out with that person.